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The other day, J and the boys joined me for lunch at the local cafe. Nothing is particularly amazing about this place, but it generally provides at least a little space for dining in peace. About halfway through our meal, a gentleman enters the cafe and saunters to a bench right next to our table and just sorta sat there waiting for service. There were plenty of tables available, so I'm not sure if we were invading on "his" table or if he just felt the need to be near us. Anyway, this gentleman was none other than the King of Rock and Roll, Elvis! I mean it. He's a downright spittin' image of the King. It was awesome!
J was doing her best to force down her food without bursting with laughter and neither boy was even phased by the impersonator. I, however, couldn't resist speaking up. I asked what anybody would ask, "Excuse me, did you used to sell cars?" I thought J was going to choke!
At this point, I can see J start herding the boys toward the door as I'm certain she was ready to leave out of sheer embarrassment, but she abruptly stopped when Elvis began a lengthy conversation with us.
His reply, in a decidedly un-Elvis-esque voice, "Why, yeah, I did!"
See, years ago, I bought a car from Elvis (aka David "Jesse" Moore). It turned out to be a total beater (You can't spell "Beretta" without "beater"), but it served it's intended purpose and lasted nearly 200,000 miles. The paint would fall off in large chunks. The driver's seat was broken on one side, so I always looked like I was cruisin' down the strip gangsta-style instead of just going to work. A friend once told me that he wouldn't follow me, for fear of paint flying off my car and landing on his new truck. I told him not to worry because the paint wouldn't stick to anything!
Anyway, Elvis is doing okay. He's having some trouble these days with his weight, cholesterol, both hips, and one knee. I felt pretty guilty chomping down a bacon-cheeseburger and fries right in front of him, but he didn't seem to even notice. Probably because there weren't bananas and peanut butter on it! Surprisingly, he only ordered a small side salad for lunch, which he willingly informed us was because he needed to lose weight before having hip surgery.
I'll bet you didn't know that Elvis was an "over-sharer". We learned all sorts of stuff about him (particularly his many ailments), from his job history to details about his marriage. It was all very interesting, but a bit overwhelming. Apparently, he's no longer selling cars, but he's an avid car collector, particularly the Chevy Camaro and, of course, the Corvette. I'm not a "car" guy, so I can't remember what his most recent acquisition was, but it sounded cool enough.
On a side note...One of my oldest friends used to drive a 'Vette! In high school even! It was pretty cool for a 1980 Chevrolet Chevette!
Back to Elvis... Over-sharers are good people and they mean no offense (They'll often say, "No offense..." before starting into something that is offensive!), but they really ought to learn some discretion before just telling everyone about everything, particularly when their audience is trying desperately to finish their meals. I have found that pre-teens and the elderly are both notorious over-sharers and devoid of the "stop-talking-now" filter that the rest of us have developed.
So, if you're an over-sharer, learn to read the non-verbal communication of your intended audience. Watch out for your un-intended audience and maybe save the explicit details of your
I should also point out that Elvis is aging just like the rest of us. Not as well as we'd all dreamed about when we were young. But, despite all that, the man is in great spirits and still dons the sequined jump suit for appearances throughout the States. So, suck it up people. If Elvis can still do it...so can you!
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