Time and Place...

The piano is moved! I repeat...The PIANO is moved! And, moved without weeping or gnashing of teeth, and without the need for back surgery! Granted, one of the wheels is now missing, the previously cracked piano leg is now fully broken and I'm missing some decorative pieces from the music stand, but the PIANO IS IN! Now we just have to wait for the piano tuner to make their annual visit to Bethel. Yes. I said ANNUAL! Seems like someone local should learn how to perform this job. I guess I'll add it to the to-do list...maybe there's a Piano Tuning For Dummies book out there...

Well, looky there...There is a Piano Tuning For Dummies (sorta) here! It's a free e-Book copyrighted in 1907 and the preface starts like this:

"For some years past a lack of competent men in the profession of Piano Tuning has been generally acknowledged."

"...competent men..." Uh oh...The feminist in me is freaking out right now! I find it amusing how quickly my attitude about something will change when I come across sexist language (or most other "-ist" language for that matter). What's interesting is that whenever I hear someone ranting about the language in a book (The Bible comes to mind!), I always have to remind them about the book's setting. We all remember learning about "setting" as the time and place a movie/book was written, but equally (and sometimes more) important should be the actual setting the author composed the work in/during. When my "Piano Tuning for Dummies" book was written, of course the author used the words "competent men" because in 1907, only a man would perform such a task. A failure on our part to consider the setting will frequently result in a misunderstanding of the purpose the author intended. Once we've misunderstood the author's reasons for writing, then the effectiveness of the material is compromised and people are able to twist the material around to fit their personal agenda regardless of the author's best (or otherwise) intentions.

So, maybe I will download that piano tuning tome from 1907 and see if I can teach myself a new skill. Next up...Veterinary Science For Dummies!

Limping Through Week 1...

As if I need to feel any older than I already do, I managed to tweak my knee yesterday. Fortunately, it seems to be improving and with any luck I'll be 100% soon. Unfortunately, now is definitely not the time for anything to be slowing me down. There's volleyball practice and literally dozens of boxes of books to haul. Oh, and there's the piano to move, too!

I'm beginning to wish we had a football team here in Bethel! No doubt I could convince some linemen to help me get the piano into the house! Football players are always happy to show off their physical prowess. We've got quite a few wrestlers here that would probably be willing to help, but all the wrestlers I've managed to meet are of the 103-lb. variety! Seems like I'd need quite a few of them to handle the piano chore!

I have to admit, however, that I actually enjoy the lack of a football team. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE football, but for whatever reason, it seems most football teams manage to intimidate their way to the top of the high school (probably college too) heap. If anything, the wrestling and basketball teams here are the athletic royalty and there's hardly enough of them to overwhelm the rest of the student body. Honestly, it is rather refreshing to be at a school that isn't solely focused on athletics.

We have tons of opportunities for kids to be involved in a multitude of activities. School sports are open to everyone (not just the elite athletes), choir and band, student government, some theater arts, construction trades, auto shop, and welding to name a few. Judo, karate and dance are also available for youth and adults alike.

My favorite of all the activities available for students would have to be NYO, or Native Youth Olympics. These contests of endurance and skill would astound many from the Lower 48. The competition was organized in 1971 and athletes compete in local and regional meets for the chance to compete at the state level against nearly 70 other schools. Events are variations on the skills needed for hunting and survival in the Alaskan Bush.

Some of the events include:

The Eskimo Stick Pull - This blister-maker has competitors attempt to pull a stick out of their opponents grip. Apparently, this contest simulates the effort needed to pull a seal (I presume a successfully hunted one!) out of the water onto the ice. Needless to say, I probably won't go seal hunting anytime soon!

The One-Hand Reach - This event is interesting because it looks like the athletes are practicing Jedi mind tricks instead of a survival skill, (Although I could probably successfully argue that Jedi mind tricks are, in fact, necessary for survival!) but apparently it simulates the body control necessary to keep from tipping over in their kayak!

The Kneel Jump - Similar to track and field's Triple Jump event, this skill is used by hunters (probably the aforementioned seal hunters) to jump from one ice sheet to another. I'm sure this is necessary for subsistence living up here, but I know that none of my kids will ever be allowed to jump from ice floe to ice floe with me watching!

The Alaskan High Kick - I don't know how to describe this, but "Alaskan High Kick" doesn't quite do it justice. I'd like to see any of you jump on one foot, kick a small ball suspended nearly 8-feet off the floor with the same foot you jumped with and then land on that same foot. One word to describe this event...Crazy!

The Seal Hop - This is my favorite event to watch. Athletes get into a down push-up position and then hop on their hands and feet (Imitating a seal I presume!) across the floor. I'd be lucky to get two hops in before I broke every bone in my wrists!

As near as I can tell, NYO is the ultimate endurance test, but also a bit of torture. As an elite athlete in high school, I can attest that we never did anything as hard as the NYO events! If you get the chance, check out the NYO videos on YouTube! I can guarantee you'll be amazed!

Busy in Bethel...

Quite a few people have noted how quickly our family was assimilated into the community. A big part of that is just who we are. We were also fortunate to come to Bethel with a built-in social group and having 4 active kids doesn't hurt either. So, after 7 weeks away, I find myself busier than ever and trying to avoid spreading myself too thin.

Of course, this means less blogging than I'd like to do and definitely less time for fun activities. Maybe if I consider berry-picking a "subsistence" activity instead of a "fun" activity I can find the time!

MIA no longer...

Hello everyone! I'm back!

Seven weeks in Oregon without internet was a mixed blessing. It was great to cleanse myself from internet dependency, but tough to be so out of the loop! So, I'm back and probably the number one thing I missed was writing this blog, so there will be many more posts as we go along here.

Of course, I've only got a few moments to write, so this is all for now, but much more very soon...I promise!

Take care and I'll enjoy catching up with all of your blogs in the next few weeks!

I Love A Rainy Night...

Oh, Eddie Rabbit...you hit the nail right on the head with that song! Snaps and claps and, yep, "You know it makes me feel good!"

We had a fantastic rain shower in Bethel tonight! It almost reminded me of Oregon, except it didn't last for two weeks! It rained good and hard for about two hours. I ventured out as the storm blew out of town and was amazed at how quickly Bethel had shut down. Over the past few weeks, when I've been out late, I have been shocked at how many people were out and about. Even kids as young as 5 would be seen on the playgrounds as late as midnight.

Maybe I'm old-fashioned or something, but even in the summer I make all my kids have bedtimes. They're significantly better people for it and during school I'm very strict about them getting enough sleep. Research has shown that there is a direct correlation between adequate amounts of sleep and success in school.

So, tonight's shower brought a pleasant surprise...almost nobody on the streets at midnight! It was nice to be the only vehicle on the road and to not silently curse the absent parents that let their children stay out until the wee hours of the morning! Hopefully, they were all sound asleep in their beds and not waiting for the last of the rain before heading out!

Time X Light = No Sleep

A few weeks ago, Bethel Utilities Corporation (BUC) announced a scheduled power outage beginning on Friday at midnight (which technically would make the outage on Saturday, but nobody seemed to care or to point this out to BUC) until 6:00am. BUC claimed that they had to do this now to not have to do it later. This reasoning sounds suspiciously like the logic I sometimes have to use with my kids!

I was as prepared as I could be for the outage until I managed to forget about it altogether. That is, until I was abruptly reminded of it at exactly 12:00am Saturday! When everything clicked off at midnight, I just sat for a few minutes, realized I was not anywhere near being ready for bed and now I had no electricity powering my TV, the satellite dish, the modem. Nothing.

The thing is, until I moved to Alaska, I almost never stayed up until midnight. Okay, okay...I did every night until I had a wife, kids, and a job that required me to be there in the a.m., but for the better part of the last decade (save for getting up with babies!) I couldn't even stay up until 11, let alone well past midnight like I have been doing here in Bethel! On far too many occasions, I've watched the sunset and sunrise without having shut my eyes between. Granted that's only a couple of hours difference and it never really gets dark, but still...most people can't say they watch both sun phases on even a semi-regular basis!

The problem is the light. It completely messes with my brain. I look at the clock and know that I should be fast asleep, but my body is not even remotely ready to consider the prospect. People have suggested tin foil on the windows, blackout curtains, sleeping pills and other drugs, making a routine, blah, blah, blah, blah. None of it works. Period. There's something freaky about it being light outside that forbids my body from relaxing to where I could even consider trying to sleep. Honestly, it's maddening.

I wonder if I'll have the same problem during the winter months when it barely gets light out? I doubt it...knowing me, I'll relish every chance I can to take a nap or go to bed early! Of course, I'm going to need it in order to catch up for all the sleep that is evading me now!

Quick Update...

This should be short and sweet, but once I get typing you never know! It's also going to be a bit random, since I have half a dozen single-theme posts started but not finished and too much going on to put a lot of time in on them. So, without further adieu...

We're moving again...Ugh! Only within Bethel, so don't panic/celebrate! I'm not sure I've mentioned how much I hate moving, but I really hate moving. Actually, I only hate the filling boxes part of moving. Once everything is boxed up, just stand back and watch the space-meister do my thing! As a visual-spatial intellectual, my gift is for solving puzzles and I view loading a moving truck as a giant three-dimensional jigsaw puzzle! When we moved from California to North Dakota, I had packed our moving truck so exactly that I didn't use any tie-downs and nothing shifted during the entire trip!

So, yes, we're moving to another house in Bethel. The owners of the house we've been in for the last four months are returning, so off we go again. Unfortunately, this means we're going to be "squatting" again. Probably 90% of "our" stuff is still in Portland, so we've been dependent on finding mostly furnished housing since arriving in Bethel. Squatting is awful! I feel like a hobo. Not that I really have anything against hobos, but I've spent too much of my life trying to avoid being one that it's very difficult to embrace a life living on other people's stuff! It would be like having to live out of a hotel room. Sure it's comfortable enough, but the coffee maker never makes as good of a cup as your old coffee maker back home! And the showers...don't even get me started!

The good news is I'm leaving for Oregon in less than a week! Only for six weeks, so don't panic/celebrate! I fly out June 14th and arrive at PDX at 4:03pm! I'm completely stoked to be heading home. I'm sure a lot of places are like this, but Oregon is, and will always be, home for me. I can't explain it, but I just feel more comfortable there than anywhere else I've been. As great as Bethel has been, someday I will probably move back to Oregon.

The good thing about Bethel, is that Bethel (is it Bethelites? Bethelonians? hmmm...) residents (I guess!) are used to a highly transient population. Many teachers and health professionals come to the YK Delta for their first jobs or to get the government to forgive some of their education debt. It's not unique to the non-native populace either. In just the few months we've been here, I've known many Yup'ik families that have moved into and out of (and sometimes both) their home villages to Bethel and vice-versa. I can't speculate as to why there is so much transition among Bethel (I really like Bethelonians!) residents, but it has made for an easier time for us being welcomed into the community. Aside from a few weeks of being "stared" at, we've felt more at home here than any of our other stops along our journey!

It is this transitional nature of Bethel that will be providing us with our next move (Did I mention how much I loathe moving???) as soon as I return from Oregon. Some friends-of-friends (Did such a thing exist before Facebook?) of ours are moving Back East (I think it's funny how we move "back East", "out West", "down South" or "up North"...) and have been unable to sell their house in Bethel. They've decided to lease it to us and we couldn't be more excited! It is a beautiful home! I mean exquisite! I can't be sure, but I'd say it's one of the nicest houses in Bethel! It's in the right neighborhood for our wants and has enough bedrooms and baths for our entire clan! The owners have done a fantastic job of creating a warm and welcoming space that will be perfect for our family! I can't wait!

See...nothing like a "quick" 680+ word update...

Memorial Day Chicken

We had a fantastic Memorial Day weekend! The temperature may have been a bit on the warm side (+70F) for those of us that suffered through the colder-than-usual winter we had here in the Alaskan Bush, but it was welcomed by all! The slight pinkish hue of my skin can attest to the sun's brightness and we had a perfect breeze that kept most of the mosquitoes at bay. If this is what Bethel's good side is like, then I may never leave!

On Saturday, Kid1 (plus her friend-who's-a-boy from the Lower 48) and I went hiking out to an abandoned Cold War era Air Force communications system originally designed to prevent another Pearl Harbor type attack. Operational in 1958, Bethel's White Alice Communication System (WACS) site also dramatically improved telephone functionality throughout Alaska. Before the WACS were completed, only one call at a time could be made between Nome and Fairbanks and residents of Anchorage had to make calls to the Lower 48 from only one location in town!



When we first moved to Bethel, the then unknown-to-us White Alice loomed large across the tundra from the airport and we couldn't help but speculate what it was. Curiously, nobody that gave us our official or unofficial tours of Bethel ever mentioned it, so we were left to our imaginations as to what purpose this superstructure could have served.

Speculation included:
- A crashed space ship?
- An odd skate park ramp?
- A ski jump?
- A now defunct Drive-In Theater?

In hindsight, the Drive-In Theater idea is the most absurd of them all! Sure, in the winter months, you could show movies almost throughout the entire day, but who goes to a drive-in during the winter? Especially during winter in Alaska? And, while the summer months seem (so far) to be nice enough with regards to weather, there's no way it would ever get dark enough to show a movie! Trust me...I'm awake every night past 2am watching the start of Civil Twilight (1:45am right now!) and occasionally until the end of Civil Twilight a whopping 2 whole hours later at 3:46am!!!

Having never seen anything on Earth even remotely like White Alice, I was hesitant to ask what that thing was on the horizon. Eventually, I overheard a couple of students talking about "visiting Old White Alice" and was able to discern enough that they were talking about the curious building on the tundra and not some crazy Yup'ik legend!

I mustered enough courage to pull one of the students aside and quietly asked, "Were you talking about that huge "thing" on the tundra?"

After a brief moment of exchanged confused glances and my futile attempts to mime the basic shape of the structure, the student begrudgingly admitted that Old White Alice was a bunch of abandoned buildings at the end of BIA Road (Bureau of Indian Affairs Road) where kids went to party and whatnot! I think the student thought they were going to be in trouble, but I only gave him my hypocritical "Don't Drink/Drugs/Sex When You're A Minor" look and set about making plans for my visit to Alice!



Over the following few weeks, I researched my quest to conquer the beast! I called upon my less-than-expert geocaching skills and plotted what seemed like a reasonable course. According to my students, everyone had been out there at least once, so I wasn't worried about getting lost and there seemed to be little concern about any possible "laws" that we might violate en route! I was stoked! All that was left was to assemble my expedition team and to find the perfect day!

Kid1 reluctantly agreed to tag along (Despite seeing me holding my handheld GPS unit...That's another blog post!) after I convinced her friend-who's-a-boy that it would be fun! We drove as far as we could on BIA Road and began hiking through the abandoned military complex. From one of the buildings we could hear some odd noises and I'm fairly certain I heard a dog barking from another, but we chose not to investigate. Graffiti marked most of the buildings and only the shattered fragments of glass remained in every window.



Our path was relatively easy and I enjoyed listening to Kid1 and Friend get reacquainted after more than 5 months apart. Theirs is a unique and mature friendship that I'm certain will stand the test of time as they become adults. It's amusing to watch and listen as kids grow up and these two teens are about as mature as they come.

After a decent walk over beach-sandy trails our inspiration appeared and we excitedly hastened our pace. Arriving at the oft-abused gate that stood between us and our goal, I was struck by Alice's sheer size and beauty. Her gently curved concave shape was finally visible and despite years of withstanding the best that Mother Nature could dish out, Old Alice still stands majestically on the tundra. To the right of the gate was a bullet-riddled sign purporting the dangers of asbestos inhalation. Apparently, Old Alice is hazardous to our health.

I debated turning around. The gate didn't look inviting for someone my size and there was the whole asbestos thing, but curiosity got the better of me and over the gate we went. The youngsters had little trouble climbing over, although I WAS definitely a better fence climber in the olden days of my youth. Today, my skills have depleted significantly, but I managed, barely, to squeeze, shimmy, pull, push and embarrass my way over without injury!

Once inside the gate, we were met by a rickety metal ladder that led to a small platform and entrance inside Old Alice. Again, we had to conquer our fears as we scaled the ladder. It's probably only 10 feet or so, but it wasn't the easiest climb. The top of the ladder is barely held in place by some thin gauge wire and a blue rope that didn't seem to be doing much of anything. Standing on the platform, we could see most of Bethel in the distance.

We climbed through the door and I was amazed at the sinewy support network of metal beams. It was beautiful in an eerie way. Dozens of people had signed their names having completed the same trek we had. Many were students that I recognized and it was comforting to have finally done something so "Bethel"!



At the far end of the structure, a vertical, narrow ladder led to the top of Alice. After staring up the ladder, I had to admit defeat.




Although it was perfectly quiet, I could just make out an odd combination of my mom's and my wife's voices yelling at me for what I was considering. Maybe it was Old White Alice herself talking.

Reluctantly, I withdrew from the dark and stood on Alice's platform admiring the view. I'll bet the view from the top is even better. Maybe next time. Maybe next time.

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do...

Neil Sedaka's signature song is one of my favorites. I fondly remember propping my feet up on the 8-track player and listening to a compilation album of #1 hits from the '50's and '60's. This particular 8-track cassette also includes my favorite song of all time "Kisses Sweeter Than Wine" by Jimmie Rodgers! Bonnie Raitt and Jackson Browne recorded a nice cover of "Kisses" as well. But I digress...

The ice covering Kuskokwim River officially broke this morning just before 9am. This is exciting news for most of the Y-K Delta as it means the beginning of subsistence fishing and summer recreation. For me, it means getting to experience another side of the surprisingly complex world that is Bethel and her people.



This year's "Breakup" has been fairly anti-climatic as we had an unusually cold winter, but precipitation totals were significantly lower than in previous years. About a week ago, a large area of open water was visible on the far bank of the river, but the ice on the city side (and the tripod marking the official break-up for the "Ice Classic") remained relatively intact.

It was interesting to visit the river in the days leading up to the break up. It seemed everyone was waiting in eager anticipation of the break. People were lining up trailers loaded with watercraft for the first chance to get out on the water and even at midnight, there were people walking and cars driving along the riverbank to check on the river's status.



Last night Bethel celebrated the river's break with the big Breakup Bash! A free BBQ was provided (Kid1 treated us beforehand to Subway with her Talent Show winnings!) and some decent live music was performed. It seemed like nearly everyone I knew in town was there! The kids were running around with their friends and J and I were able to socialize with ours. Unfortunately, the ice wasn't cooperating as the tripod was still sitting downriver about 200 yards and little, if any, ice could be seen moving. We all had a great time and we're looking forward to exploring more of our new home!

A Trip Down Memory Lane...Blog Style

This post was from 2007 in a place far, far away from Bethel...seems like it needed to be retold!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The other day, J and the boys joined me for lunch at the local cafe. Nothing is particularly amazing about this place, but it generally provides at least a little space for dining in peace. About halfway through our meal, a gentleman enters the cafe and saunters to a bench right next to our table and just sorta sat there waiting for service. There were plenty of tables available, so I'm not sure if we were invading on "his" table or if he just felt the need to be near us. Anyway, this gentleman was none other than the King of Rock and Roll, Elvis! I mean it. He's a downright spittin' image of the King. It was awesome!

J was doing her best to force down her food without bursting with laughter and neither boy was even phased by the impersonator. I, however, couldn't resist speaking up. I asked what anybody would ask, "Excuse me, did you used to sell cars?" I thought J was going to choke!

At this point, I can see J start herding the boys toward the door as I'm certain she was ready to leave out of sheer embarrassment, but she abruptly stopped when Elvis began a lengthy conversation with us.

His reply, in a decidedly un-Elvis-esque voice, "Why, yeah, I did!"



See, years ago, I bought a car from Elvis (aka David "Jesse" Moore). It turned out to be a total beater (You can't spell "Beretta" without "beater"), but it served it's intended purpose and lasted nearly 200,000 miles. The paint would fall off in large chunks. The driver's seat was broken on one side, so I always looked like I was cruisin' down the strip gangsta-style instead of just going to work. A friend once told me that he wouldn't follow me, for fear of paint flying off my car and landing on his new truck. I told him not to worry because the paint wouldn't stick to anything!

Anyway, Elvis is doing okay. He's having some trouble these days with his weight, cholesterol, both hips, and one knee. I felt pretty guilty chomping down a bacon-cheeseburger and fries right in front of him, but he didn't seem to even notice. Probably because there weren't bananas and peanut butter on it! Surprisingly, he only ordered a small side salad for lunch, which he willingly informed us was because he needed to lose weight before having hip surgery.

I'll bet you didn't know that Elvis was an "over-sharer". We learned all sorts of stuff about him (particularly his many ailments), from his job history to details about his marriage. It was all very interesting, but a bit overwhelming. Apparently, he's no longer selling cars, but he's an avid car collector, particularly the Chevy Camaro and, of course, the Corvette. I'm not a "car" guy, so I can't remember what his most recent acquisition was, but it sounded cool enough.

On a side note...One of my oldest friends used to drive a 'Vette! In high school even! It was pretty cool for a 1980 Chevrolet Chevette!




Back to Elvis... Over-sharers are good people and they mean no offense (They'll often say, "No offense..." before starting into something that is offensive!), but they really ought to learn some discretion before just telling everyone about everything, particularly when their audience is trying desperately to finish their meals. I have found that pre-teens and the elderly are both notorious over-sharers and devoid of the "stop-talking-now" filter that the rest of us have developed.

So, if you're an over-sharer, learn to read the non-verbal communication of your intended audience. Watch out for your un-intended audience and maybe save the explicit details of your surgery for doctors and close family members only!

I should also point out that Elvis is aging just like the rest of us. Not as well as we'd all dreamed about when we were young. But, despite all that, the man is in great spirits and still dons the sequined jump suit for appearances throughout the States. So, suck it up people. If Elvis can still do it...so can you!

Excuses...

"It has been said by people who should know better that Eskimos treat their children well only so the children will in turn treat their parents well when old age is upon them and their time of usefulness is at an end. In point of fact, the People treat their children with great sympathy and forbearance because they know so much of humanity."

-From People of the Deer by Farley Mowat



One of the first things we heard after moving to Bethel was that the Native Alaskans won't discipline their children because they wanted to be treated well when their children were taking care of them in old age. It made sense at the time, as we had quickly noticed that many Native kids seemed to behave as though there were no rules or consequences. At first, seeing this was troubling and we were offered this rote "excuse" by many non-native friends. In fact, I even repeated it to more than one person as a simple way to dismiss the differences in parenting styles, although deep down I didn't believe this to be anything more than a lame excuse.

So, when I came across this passage in Mowat's book, I was startled by how directly it spoke to me and I proceeded to dog-ear and reread it literally dozens of times. I also repeated this to anyone that would listen and even to people that didn't want to.

How is it that Mowat so succinctly named this 60+ years ago when we still say this same thing today?

Just prior to the earlier quote, Mowat says, "In the camps of the People the child is king, for childhood is short and tragedy often comes after. [. . .] so the early years of a child are made free of compulsion and of hard labors, for these years must always remain in the child's memory to alleviate the agonies which come with mature years."

I think this issue definitely crosses cultural bounds, with both non-native and native families being wrought by this. My concern is that as we have matured as a society and relieved some of the "agonies" that maturity traditionally brought, we have also allowed our children a longer childhood to be without consequence. Granted, today's children are subject to a hyperspeed version of youth that few of us can comprehend, however, one would think that the result would be a hyper-maturing of our youth instead of the other way around.

Mowat tells of his first encounter with Franz and his "family" of adopted Eskimo children, where the four-year-old daughter readied tea for the men and was quickly embracing the roles of the woman. Not many four-year-olds I've known could be entrusted with such a task!

Yet, here we are in the 21st Century and we let our children be unaccountable well into their teen and young adult years. And, instead of teaching our kids how to be adults, we let them off the hook and say we don't want them to be cruel to us when we are old and no longer useful. This seems to counter the original purpose of giving children an easier early life. Instead, now we foster laziness and rude behavior as though it is some God-given right of childhood.

In today's world, where cultures have merged and technology has connected us in a way few could have ever imagined, we actually have accomplished the opposite of the original "native" rules for children. We have, in fact, just given our children a free pass, not to have some fond memory of the greatness of youth or to give them some wonderful memory of easier times, but rather to learn how to take the easy way out of most things.

Unfortunately, the ultimate cost to humanity of raising our children in this manner will not be fully known until these youth are adults with no work ethic, no cultural heritage, no knowledge of anything but how to take advantage of the system.

Special Election...

Bethel is having a Special Election today to decide if we want to reverse our "wet" alcohol status, which voters last October passed by an underwhelming margin of 52% to 48%. For at least 30 years prior, Bethel's alcohol status has been "damp". Wet and damp. Hilarious. Coming from the state of Oregon where it pretty much is always either damp or wet, I can't help but think that neither is an ideal state of being. Unfortunately, I'm not able to vote as I'm not yet an Alaska resident. I have heard most of the arguments on both sides, but I'm still torn as to how I would vote...even if I could.

As newcomers to Bethel, we're not as up to speed on the historical issues surrounding the alcohol issue in the Y-K Delta as we would prefer to be. Much of the history of the issue extends back 30 or more years when Bethel was under no restrictions on alcohol, so for us the community's status of "damp" or "wet" was only noticeable since it changed between our site visit and our arrival in January.

I had the good fortune to have a few people bring me some alcohol that was purchased in Anchorage on my behalf. In fact, last weekend I had my first Deschutes Mirror Pond Pale Ale (My favorite brewery...BTW) in 100 days and it tasted so good I nearly wept. Ask J...she'll tell you! I can only imagine how amazing it would be to be able to drive down to the AC and pick up a six-pack...even at the inflated prices they would inevitably charge!

On the flip side of this issue, the same weekend I enjoyed my beer, I had an encounter at the previously mentioned AC that I will never forget. As I was running in to use the ATM, I heard one drunk say to another, "That's just who I am. Just who I am. F***ed in the pants."

Yep. The pants. I don't even know what that means. But I feel fairly confident that I've never been that drunk. Yes, this individual was native and, no, I don't believe that our alcohol problem in Bethel is exclusive to the native population.

Our alcohol problem is all of our concern. We've heard from law enforcement who say they haven't seen any significant increase in crime since our change in status...yet. Medical personnel have said there has been an slight increase in the number of alcohol-related injuries and there seems to have been an uptick in the number of deaths likely attributed to alcohol, including at least one shooting. I am certain that there likely hasn't been enough time to evaluate the true impact on our community since the change in status.

So, our dilemma in Bethel will again be addressed by voters and some people will be happy, some people will be upset. It's likely that until people are accountable for their actions we probably won't see any significant change in any of our alcohol issues regardless of the outcome of the election. Unfortunately for us, we may all be "F***ed in the pants"!

In The Doghouse...With Munchkins...

A few months ago our neighbors brought an adorable black puppy with short legs home and promptly tied it up in their front yard and forgot about it. I'm not sure if it is one of Bethel's notorious "Village Dogs", but it definitely isn't a "pure" anything. (Nature be damned...all the feral dogs in Bethel have super short legs despite our annual snowfalls!) Only once in the puppy's first month at its new home, did I see any of its "owners" try to interact with it. Naturally, the puppy acted so excited to be having any kind of interaction that the kid quickly gave up trying to convince it to "sit" and went back inside. I haven't seen anyone make any attempts to be near the dog since.

Within days of its arrival to the neighborhood, we had sub-zero nighttime temperatures with daytime temps only slightly better, and yet, there huddled this tiny, forgotten dog without any shelter. I was devastated. I'd stare out the window at the freezing puppy and scheme ways to dognap it and bring it home into the warmth of our house...even if only for the night. Once, I called the non-emergency police number, only to find out that there aren't any laws dealing with cruelty to animals in Bethel unless there are obvious signs of abuse, but that dognapping would be a crime! I still am not sure how my concerns didn't at least warrant a check by local law enforcement, but apparently they had more important stuff to do.

Of course, if they chose to deal with my dog problem, they'd have to deal with the hundreds of others around town. Dogs in Bethel are second-class citizens and there's even the threat from the PD that they will shoot loose dogs. Not dogs that are being aggressive or threatening or are a danger to the public, traffic, themselves, or livestock. Any loose dog...period. PETA would seriously go nuts up here.

When we lived in North Dakota, I had similar problems with how people treated cats. It was almost as if most people viewed felines as a farm implement, whose sole function was to catch mice.

One late night, I was drawn to our garage where a hugely pregnant black "munchkin" cat was struggling to even walk. She had no ID or collar, so we called her "Gypsy". Within days, J and I spent hours helping her deliver her litter of seven. Four of the kittens were "munchkins", one was somewhere in between and two looked like normal cats. It was truly a wonderful experience for us and the kids enjoyed getting to experience the miracle of birth!



Sadly, when it came time to find homes for most of these kittens, nobody in North Dakota wanted them simply because they weren't likely to be good hunters because of their diminutive stature. I couldn't believe it. So, we literally paid to fly four of them to Oregon where my mom had been able to find people that wanted to care for them.

At another of our stops, the feral cat population was so out of control, cats were being born under the church, the church office and behind the old English Rose next to the parsonage. We'd rescue the kittens after the feral moms would abandon them and do our best to raise them and find homes for the kittens before they followed in their mom's footsteps or managed to get run over on the rural highway that ran through town. Often our only choice was to give them to the Feral Cat Coalition of SW Portland.

Our local Friend of the FCC was an alcoholic, crazy cat lady, little person that always managed to take two cats but convince us to take a different one that she couldn't find a home for! At one point, I wouldn't let J answer the phone when she called for fear we'd be adopting another cat! As I tried, mostly in vain, to capture the feral cats, I found little support from the community that apparently didn't mind seeing hordes of cats roaming around the neighborhood or scraping road kill off the side of the road.

So, here I am again, doing my best to understand attitudes and cultural norms, despite my own desire to "rescue" every animal I can. I guess I just don't understand why people would even want a dog (especially at the cost of keeping a dog here) if they aren't going to let it become a part of their family.

I finally had enough of seeing the little black dog curled up without any shelter, so I hired the wood shop class at the high school to build my neighbor-dog a house! I figured it's as much of a win/win as I can get with this situation. The kids will get some real-world woodworking experience (Not that the trivet below doesn't have any "real-world" application!) and with any luck the dog will have a safe place to protect it from the elements. I also hope the neighbor will realize the error of his ways...



Well, I'm proud to say that the doghouse is complete and has been delivered! I didn't make any ceremony about giving the house to the dog. I just pulled up, carried the dog house near the dog and left it. Honestly, I'm not sure anyone at the house has even noticed. For the first few days, I never actually saw the dog inside the house only sniffing around it. Honestly, I was a little upset that he didn't run right in and start sleeping inside, until I realized that up until then neighbor-dog had little reason to trust humans at all. This thought devastated me even more.

Last night, however, as I was walking Tracker, neighbor-dog was watching us from the comfort of the doorway of his new house! Enjoy your new "home" neighbor-dog!

Culture & Giving Thanks!

Friday we had the extreme pleasure of taking Kid1 and Kid2 to a concert sponsored by the Bethel Council on the Arts. Recording artist Erin McKeown ended her recent tour with at stop at Bethel's Cultural Center and delighted the crowd with an energetic, yet very intimate show!



Kid1 received some education advice from McKeown (Who has an Ethnomusicology degree from Brown University) as well as a little music advice from Traci Buckle. Nice!

Kid1 has also booked a spot in the lineup for the BCA's annual "Break-Up Concert" held at the river when the ice finally decides to leave! Date and Time TBA, since nobody really knows when that's going to happen! My guess is we'll be pushing back the date as we woke up this morning to a few inches of snow...but we'll keep you posted and hopefully get a little video of her performing!

Speaking of Break Up...every year, there's a 50/50 contest to guess the date and time of the break up. We didn't get any tickets this year, although my guess of Cinco de Mayo isn't looking very good right now! My next guess is May 18th at 8:32am. We'll see! Here's a calendar of the historic dates of the Break Up!



Oh...here's a video from the 2009 Break-Up!

Saturday, we had our first annual "Fakesgiving" celebration with some friends that are preparing to leave for the summer! It was a delight and we are certainly going to miss those dear friends while they are away!

We had yet another wonderfully full weekend in our new home and we are surprised daily with all of the opportunity here! Thanks BCA, Erin, Traci, friends, family and everyone else that made this weekend possible!

Yes Maybe; No Maybe...

"No maybe," she said. Huh. I'm not familiar with that phrase. One of my students answered my question like that. "No maybe." Honestly, I didn't know what to say. I suppose "No maybe" is better than only a slightly perceptible raising or lowering of the eyebrows or, even worse, the dreaded "I don't know.", but it certainly wasn't the definitive answer I was hoping for. Some days the students can be so frustrating! Of course, now that I mention this, I'm fairly confident I'll be saying it myself soon enough! I already have nearly mastered using only my brow to answer any question, so it's only a matter of time before I sound permanently vague like some of my students!

As with each of our adventures, I'm usually the first to be able to speak in the native accent of the place. Before we moved to northeastern North Dakota, I couldn't even remotely pull off a "Fargo" accent, but within a week, people were accusing me of being a native Dak-OHHHH-tan! Apparently, I'm a master linguist once immersed in a culture! [This doesn't bode well for my long-term substitute teaching position next fall. I'm slated to be the German instructor for six weeks and, as far as I know, I don't have any plans to visit Germany before then! Hopefully Rosetta Stone is as good as advertised!]

Speaking of the movie Fargo, don't even think about mentioning that movie to any of your North Dakota friends or family...they'll get seriously offended. To put it another way, if you want to get a stoic, old Lutheran from Mountain, North Dakota to talk, mention that movie and you'll get an expletive-laced earful about how that movie didn't even take place in Fargo and how no North Dakotans they know even sound like that! Plus, they'll tell you that movie wasn't even funny! Of course, they'll tell you all of this sounding suspiciously like the slightly more well-spoken cousin of the characters in Fargo!

It should also be noted that the movie did, in fact, have most of the nasty winter scenes filmed on roads just outside of Hamilton, North Dakota...I've shared many a drink with the wonderful gentleman that let the film crew store their gear in his Quonset! Hamilton is also known as the location of the annual Pembina County Fair where I saw harness racing for the first time!



Arguably my favorite North Dakota-ism has to be "Oh-fer"! Oh-fer-funny, oh-fer-cute, oh-fer-sweet...pretty much oh-fer-anything! A friend of ours used to say that all the time and at first I couldn't help but snicker every time she said it. But eventually, "oh-fer" became part of my vernacular. I suppose "Yes/No maybe" is just the same as "oh-fer", and eventually hearing a kid answer my query with "No maybe" will be oh-fer-funny!

Hang out with me long enough and I'll start drawing out my vowels and sounding like an extra from Fargo! Pretty soon, I might even start to answer "No maybe" to your questions!

I'd Be Rich, If Only I Would Have Been Prepared...

It snowed a bit today. Not enough to cause any concern really, but today definitely wasn't a part of the heatwave we've been experiencing. Today's cold was a refreshing change as I really am not ready for what a change in seasons means here...Bugs!

Today's cold snap got me thinking about where the bugs that just days before were emerging had gone. The other day, despite it only being +40-something, we had a multitude of bugs milling about on every warm and sunny surface of the house. Clearly they wanted into the house to do whatever it is bugs do once they are inside. I probably should have paid more attention to entomology in school (Although I'm certain I've never taken an entomology course, the topic was bound to have been covered at least briefly by one of them!), because I have devoted a great deal of my life to avoiding bugs and I honestly don't know much about bugs other than that they annoy me and that I take great delight in my ability to kill them before they kill me! After watching the bugs for awhile, I couldn't help but recall my favorite (And easily most embarrassing!) bug memory of all!

~~~~

At one of our previous stops along our life's adventure, we lived in an old parsonage. When we took the call, the house was boasted to have been built to be "the best in town". Mind you, that was 80+ years ago, and (as many churches are wont to do) had fallen victim to considerable "deferred maintenance". After we moved in, we immediately began peeling away layer after layer of moldy wallpaper and spent great care painting every wall of the house. I pulled up the 70's shag carpet (You all KNOW what color it was...ORANGE!) to discover beautiful oak hardwood floors that needed only a bit of preservation to bring back to life. Before long, our new house was starting to become a home!

When winter arrived, we discovered that our home had many larger issues that couldn't be painted over or patched up. The house desperately needed new windows and the roof leaked terribly. All our effort to that point had been cosmetic and we experienced a mild seasonal depression as we hunkered down for what would be a long, cold and wet winter.

When Spring finally arrived, we were delighted by the multitude of perennials around the house and the ability to actually keep our old house relatively warm (At least when the sun was out!). But this new found warmth brought about another surprise...a mass exodus of lazy bugs from every nook and cranny of our abode. Thanks to the internet and 7th-grade Biology Classification, I was able to discern that our new house guests were the harmless Boisea trivittata, or box-elder bug. The only danger to us was that they tended to congregate on and around windows and can stain drapery with their waste. Cool...I can handle a harmless bug and I really don't care for drapes...I'm more of a blinds man myself!



I employed a variety of methods of extermination, usually depending on the time of day. When the kids were awake, I'd drag the Dyson upstairs and use the hose (or is it wand?) to just suck them up. At night, however, I had to dispense of them by hand with tissues, since there's no chance I'll be able to sleep knowing that there's bugs creeping and flying around my ceiling. The disadvantage of the "by hand" method was that each and every bug made a loud crunch when smashed. This sound was just enough to make me ponder my killing ways before deciding that there still was no better way to remove them from my dwelling than cold-blooded (literally) murder.

Anyway, every night before bed, I would grab some tissues and stealthily climb around the room to dispose of the enemy. One night, I counted nine bugs to be killed and as I went around the room, I realized that one was actually a humongous black fly warming itself near our ancient light fixture.

Well, as any child of the 80's will tell you, this required a whole new level of skill as no fly was going to be captured by simple tissue. As I considered my prey, the thought crossed my mind to go and get my chopsticks, however, I'm no Daniel-son (let alone Mr. Miyagi) so I opted for the obvious next best weapon...a blue cow-print foam slipper!

Mind you, I'm already prepared for bed and am stalking my victim in my underwear and, for some odd reason, black dress socks. So, there I am, underwear, black socks and blue cow-print slipper attempting to shoo the fly away from the light fixture to a more reasonable killing ground. After a couple of near misses, the fly finally decides I am serious about him moving and takes off in fury of loud buzzing and collisions with inanimate objects. I stood there dumbfounded until the fly buzzed around the room and landed in my chest hair!

Naturally, I did what every tough guy would do in this situation...I screamed! And not a good manly scream. No! That would have been too, well, manly for this situation. No, I had to scream in the voice of a teenage girl attending her teen-heartthrob-of-the-moment concert!

"AHHHH! It's ATTACKING me!" I shrieked as the fly thrashed about in my chest hair.

As I panicked, the fly managed to disentangle itself from my chest web and resume flying about the room at an even more furious pace! After two quick laps around the room, the fly alit upon the front of my underwear where I quickly (And very much without thinking!) swatted it with the aforementioned blue cow print slipper!

I silently crumbled to the floor as my nemesis flew away barely stunned by the events that had transpired. To my own good fortune, I had managed to avoid a direct full-frontal assault upon myself (Despite the fact that in baseball I was a notoriously good ball striker...no pun intended!) and was aided by the fact that the blue cow-print slipper was mostly made of foam. Within an instant, J started laughing uncontrollably before being embarrassingly joined by yours truly!

Later on, I realized that I could've won every "Funniest Home Video Contest" for eternity had I only had the foresight to keep a video camera in my bedroom. I still don't keep a camera in my room, mostly because I'd have to explain why I have a camera in my room, which despite the hilarity of the above story, would probably still leave people wondering...

Of course, I could use the Boy Scouts' motto as justification..."Be Prepared"...which I clearly wasn't!

Nor am I prepared for what summer in Bethel will bring...BUGS!

I Couldn't Have Said This A Lot Better...

I like this blog a lot!

In particular this post!


In fact, I like this alot a lot!

Thanks to

Allie Brosh / CC BY-NC-ND 3.0

Silt In All The Wrong Places...

Our previously mentioned mud is quickly drying out and turning to silt, which would explain why Bethel and the surrounding area is known as the "YK (Yukon-Kuskokwim) Delta"...key word DELTA! This morning I swept. This afternoon I swept. And, I already have to sweep again. Nobody's even been outside since the last time I swept and silt is finding it's way into our abode.

The ground here incredibly soft and every step taken leaves a crystal clear footprint. My yard looks exactly like my favorite Family Circus comics, where Billy's wanderings are tracked by dashed lines all about! If only the "Billy's" that live in my house would strip down to their skivvies and leave all their silt-covered clothes outside!

The biggest problem the silt is causing is with the roads. Bethel has somewhere between 6 and 10 miles of paved roads with the rest being some combination of gravel, dirt and silt. At this juncture, any unpaved road is pocked with deep potholes, soft shoulders, and bone-rattling bumps. As difficult as it is to gripe about the work of the previous entries' "Bethel Road Crew", our road has quickly eroded and the stream from my neighbors' lake that crosses our road has developed into a river that cannot be traversed in a single bound. Supposedly, a member of Bethel's City Council lives in our neighborhood, so with any luck any necessary road repairs in our neighborhood will be expedited!

All this silt reminds me of spending time at the beach and finding grains of sand in every nook, cranny and body crevice possible! So, just like the beach, I'm advising everyone against any amorous pursuits outdoors in the YK Delta! I can't think of much worse than figuring out what body contortions are necessary to shower off one's nether regions if covered in silt! Sorry to be such a prude!

Bethel Road Crew...

I had the pleasure of watching some light road construction today (I know...on a Sunday even!) and thought I should share with you! Enjoy!



I know those workers seem a little young, but up here, anybody that wants to work can find of a job, so... Anyway, now we have water-front property as water from my neighbor's front yard lake meanders across the street, cascades down our embankment and disappears under our snow-covered side yard lake.

Warm, Sleepy, Happy, Sad and Guilty...

Lots to write about today...

WARM
+46! Yep, that's a plus in front of that number! It's almost hot, really! Snow is melting, and for the first time since we've been here, we're seeing what Bethel's "other" ground cover looks like...mud!

Mud is literally everywhere. The places that aren't mud are puddles (Often the puddles here look like Lower48's ponds or lakes!) that will eventually become mud. So, this is officially the start of the dirty season. I'm concerned for our 1000-gallon per week allotment of water as I'm certain our laundry is going to multiply exponentially! Maybe I should rethink my firm "No Puddles!" rule. You know, to wash off all the mud the kids are bound to get everywhere.

Speaking of puddles...Apparently people here drive onto the river and wash their cars (Oh, who am I kidding...trucks...there aren't many cars here!) in the deep puddles that form on top of the ice. I'm pretty sure I'd be the genius that found the hole and not the puddle and poor Babe The Big Blue Truck would be gone! I guess Babe's just gonna have to be a little muddy...just like everything else around here!

Speaking of Babe...a few hours at the mechanic got the tire fixed! I still need new ones and I'm still debating what to do, but for now I'm not dependent on the few places in town generous enough to share their air...for free even! And when something is free here, that's like being paid to get something everywhere else. I beginning to worder if there's a Yup'ik word for "free".

SLEEPY
Sundays afternoons are pretty much guaranteed nap days around here. I think most pastor's families probably do the same as it seems there's so much to do first thing in the morning that by afternoon, we're all spent. I've already taken mine and was considering another but opted to write instead.

I love taking naps. As far as I'm concerned, everyday should be a nap day! New research suggests that naps are good for work and study and I plan to help support this research as often as possible! ¡Siesta feliz!

HAPPY
Kid1 has returned from her adventures at the Regional Music Festival in Nome! Thanks to the chaperons for keeping her safe! So far, we've heard a lot of stories about gossip, pranks, dances, shopping and even a mention or two about the music!

In other "Happy" news, Kid2 turns 11 tomorrow! I can't believe it! She celebrated by having a sleepover with her two girlfriends. Cake decorating may not be any of their forté but they had a great time! Happy Birthday Kid2!

SAD
Despite her "Command Performance", Kid1 is still convinced she's not very good. I suppose this is better than someone that thinks they're amazing when they're really not (See every year's American Idol auditions!). Still though, I can't help but wonder what we've done to twist her around like this. [When you eventually read this blog Kid1, know that you are beautiful and talented and we love you!]

J leaves in a couple of hours for Anchorage! I'm certain she's excited to get away to the "Big" city, where she can wear normal shoes and get refills on pop for free. And there's no doubt we'll enjoy the fruits of her being able to shop and ship goods here instead of buying in town. Mostly, I'm just gonna miss her. I do fine when doing the single parent thing (Despite what I will try to say when people find out I'm flying solo.), but I miss having my best friend to talk to and laugh with. Safe travels and hurry home, dear!

GUILTY
I previously mentioned napping and that I am going to miss J while she's gone, but, guess what? I totally napped this afternoon when I could/should have been spending time with her. I feel totally guilty now, but thanks for the nap! It might be the best sleep I'll get all week!

A Busy Weekend and Week Ahead...

I shouldn't be blogging...I should be going to bed. I've got a crazy busy weekend ahead and next week isn't shaping up to be any easier. So, now I'm stressed and can't sleep. Maybe blogging about sleeping will make me ready for bed. (One can hope!)

Tonight, we're celebrating Kid2's 11th birthday! It's still a few days away, but it's the weekend and if we don't get it done tonight, it may not happen before they put me away in the loony bin (see below). Kid2 has two wonderful friends spending the night and we've celebrated with cake and frosting and rainbow sherbet (Surprisingly, these go well together!) and movies and now a headache. Fortunately, the pre-teen incessant giggling I was expecting never happened. We'll see how things fare in the morning!

Saturday will be chock full of activities (all before 2pm) with Kid4's dance class, the school Book Fair and one of Bethel's other primary social events...Saturday Market. It isn't uncommon to find people you haven't seen in a whole week and wander through the tables so engrossed in conversation that you have to head back in just to see if there's anything you want to buy. Inevitably, you'll see someone else and repeat the cycle of insanity. Fortunately, it's an awful lot of fur so by the third or fourth time through, it's easy to figure out which tables you need to stop at and which you can get away with just touching and inwardly being dually disgusted at yourself for doing so and for actually sort of liking the way fur feels. This place will do that to you.

Word from Nome is that Kid1 successfully performed her solo ("I'm Not That Girl" from Wicked) and received a "Command Performance"! Yay! We're so proud! Of course, this means more travel for Kid1 to attend the State Solo Competition, which probably means more stress for a certain blogger (See post from 4/14/10), despite the fact that she has the best chaperons in the world! If Kid1 ever makes it big, she's already appointed me her Manager! Kid1 returns Sunday afternoon!



Sunday night, I return to the airport to drop J off for the evening flight to Anchorage so she can attend a week's worth of the Alaska Synod's Assembly and Collegium. I'm already sweating handling all the household chores (Especially packing lunches...for some reason I'm really not good at that task!) as well as getting everyone everywhere they need to be. That doesn't even include getting myself adequately groomed and to all the places I need to be! Of course, there are still a week's worth of logistical snafus that will also need to be solved (Just hopefully not before I am able to sleep tonight!). Did I mention lunches? Can't forget the lunches...

Wednesday, Kid1 hops back on a plane to attend the Alaska Synod's Youth Leadership Conference in Anchorage. I'm sure she will have a great time and it will be wonderful for her to meet some other Lutheran youth... Oh God! What have we done? I know how these types of events go! J and I met at one of these so-called "Leadership Conferences"...

This is going to be tough. Maybe the toughest week ever. In basketball terms, we're losing our point guard and leading scorer for almost a whole week! I'm doomed! I feel bad for the kids in my classes this week. They are probably going to wonder what happened to the "cool sub" and who the tyrant teaching their classes is!

Keep me in your prayers. More importantly, keep Kids2,3 and 4 in your prayers. And, the students in my classes. And, anyone that gets in my way. And, well...that should cover it...I guess...

Just When You Think...

Funny how life has a way of jerking one back to reality and smacking you in the face!

I remember the first time I went trolling for Muskie at Lake of the Woods in Ontario, Canada with Ogs and John-boy. It was late-October, right before the lake would freeze over, and we were running up and down the channels (apparently Ogs "invented" fishing for Muskie like this) looking to nab one of the elusive Muskie seeking to fatten up before the freeze. Wind, rain and snow pelted us from every direction and the only way to stay somewhat warm was to hunker down on the floor of the boat (There's probably a "nautical" term for "floor of the boat", but I can't even remember which side is port, starboard and what are the others?...) and to take nips off of my "special" coffee. Anyway, we fished most of the day with no success (Seems like most fishing is that way.) except that none of us were at our jobs working!

After lunch, we changed tactics and tried casting on the leeward side of "Hey! Island" (Ogs has special names for all the islands up there. "Hey! Island" is so-named because no matter how bad the fishing elsewhere on the lake was, Ogs could always catch a fish there..."Hey! Fish On!") and, guess what? I got a strike at Hey Island!

I didn't even have to battle my fish to bring it to the boat, but as it neared it was apparent that I had only successfully hooked the lesser-cousin of the Muskie, the Northern Pike. Ogs will tell you that "Pike are okay, [he] guesses, but they’re the stupid cousin of the Muskie and the only reason there’s more of them than Muskie is that Pike hatch first and its fry feed on the later-hatching Muskie fry… (Gasp…that run-on sentence is courtesy of Ogs!) Muskie, on the other hand, must rely on their cunning and intelligence for survival of the species. (He’s right though…any Muskie angler will tell you creepy tales of “follows” and “figure-eights” when trying to entice a Muskie) Anyway, we brought my Northern aboard to humanely remove the lure before throwing it back. We quickly realized that my catch was actually a huge, I mean HUGE, Northern! My feelings were slightly mended as I hoisted this monster up for a digital record of my catch. John-boy fumbled with his camcorder as I held the 54” Northern aloft. (Maybe it was only 48”? Hmmm…well, by now it’s definitely 54”, so we’ll go with that!) As the camcorder rolled, I loosened my grip slightly and was promptly tail fin slapped across the face and crapped upon before watching my glorious fish leap back into the water! See what I mean about being jerked back into reality and, this time, literally being slapped in the face?

So, what’s this have to do with Bethel? We’ve got a slow leak on the rear passenger tire of “Babe the Big Blue Truck”. I’ve filled it a few times now and I’m realizing that we need a new tire. Unfortunately, further inspection of all the tires reveals that we probably need 4 new tires. Out here, that means paying WAY too much for a tire that may be more weather-beaten than the tires I’m trying to replace. Of course, I could shop online and have a new set shipped up here. Either way, we’re looking at $1,000 minimum for the whole job. Ouch...

Just when things were looking up for us financially, I’ve been tail fin slapped in the face by reality. Here’s hoping I avoid being crapped on to boot!

A Difference Between Here and There...

Seems like everyone has a memory of riding on a school bus from some point in their life. I could tell about our crazy elementary driver that was cited multiple times (in the school bus) for speeding, or of the many class field trips we got to go on. Probably my favorite, although not necessarily suitable for this blog, bus memories are traveling to away games for sporting events. I'm not sure why I would consider these favorite, because there was always sweat and other body odors and emanations, but they just were. Piling into the school bus, using seniority or, more importantly, athletic prowess to secure a seat at the back of the bus seemed especially important. Anyway, here in Bethel, we have buses (The drivers are not particularly gracious and occasionally cruel.), so that's similar. But in order to compete against anybody in athletics or attend any other larger school function, the school piles kids into airplanes! It's infinitely more awesome than when I was a kid! I'm totally jealous!



Why mention any of this? Kid1 gets to fly to Nome for the Regional Choir and Solo Competition tomorrow (Kid2 has already flown with her school to Anchorage for the State Science Fair!), and I'm a bit reluctant to let her go! After all, if we could get into the kind of trouble we did just riding a school bus, it doesn't take much mental prowess to imagine how much trouble they could get into on a plane! Fortunately, Kid1 is amazing, so I shouldn't be too worried...but she is my kid so maybe I should!

Good luck at Regionals and get yourself an invite to Anchorage for the State Choir Comp! Oh, and we'll totally miss you!

Blizzardy

Last night, I went out and turned the grill on to preheat it under overcast skies and gentle breezes. 5 minutes later, I was grilling in a blizzard! The Juicy Lucy's came out great, but grilling in a blizzard was an experience I may not try any time soon!

This morning, I awoke to more blizzard conditions. The grill cover was in the neighbor's snow drift and a couple of the lids from our outdoor storage containers had blown off. Our phone service was even less reliable than normal, so I was unable to find out if school was canceled and the radio news was already airing the Yup'ik version. By the time we arrived at school, half of Bethel's electricity was out (including all three schools), so I figured it was only natural that they canceled school. I couldn't have been more wrong! Two hours of teaching in the dark with a flashlight before power was finally restored. Needless to say, I had a lot of fun teaching Health II shining a flashlight onto my face like I was sitting around the campfire telling scary stories! Ooohhh...RESTING HEART RATE!!!



Fortunately, power was returned during second hour, which helped avoid any awkward "spooky" teaching in Advanced Biology (angiosperm, gymnosperm and cotyledons!).

Giggles and embarrassment avoided. Thank you Bethel Utilities Commission.

Surviving Hazing...

Tonight I catered the dessert for the annual Tundra Women's Coalition banquet Yukeghtaaraat (around our house we call it "Yuke Duk" cause according to J, Yukeghtaaraat is pronounced "Yuke Duk". I'm not sure I believe her.) for 200 guests. I cannot recall if I suggested to J that I/we should help out or if she just volunteered me for the duty, but the banquet was tonight and (despite my typing induced apnea causing me to yawn) I managed to get 224 cheesecake brownies with a raspberry coulis served to very positive results!

The more important question is: Did I do enough to get myself volunteered for next year's banquet or if I'm a complete bust? I'm not sure which I'm rooting for, either!